February 11, 2008
Contents
1. 180 News
2. Something for Your Heart
3. Surf Report
4. Birthdays
5. Video of The Week
6. Forgettable Fact
7. Potent Quotables
8. This Week Is...
1. 180 NEWS
30 Hour Famine
30 Hour Famine season is in full swing, and it's happening February 22-23. If you have not yet picked up a fundraising packet, do so this week and make plans now to be a part of this great event!
Kids just like you are seeing their friends and families die from hunger - 29,000 every day, gone for good. They're counting on us to care. We know your own life is busy, but do you have room to care for someone else as well? If so, join us.
Be Seen. Be Heard. BE HUNGRY!
2008 Release Forms
Have you turned one in yet? Please remember we must have a new 2008 Release Form on file before you can attend any of our monthly events. The 2007 Release Forms are no longer valid.
If you will be joining us next week for our 30 Hour Famine and have not yet turned one in, be sure to do so soon!
They are available here for download.
2. SOMETHING FOR YOUR HEART
FOR THE GIRLS...
BOOGERS, BELCHES, AND BUGS--Guys and Grossness
booger (n) mucus from or in the nose, either green and gooey or green and crusty
belch (v) to eject gas noisily from the stomach through the mouth, to eructate.
(n) an eructation
bug (n) any terrestrial or aquatic insect with piercing, sucking mouth parts, wingless or with two pairs of wings, as the stinkbug, squash bug, or bedbug
(v) to annoy or bother
"Why do guys act so immature?"
- Samantha, 17 - Christine, 14 - Brianna, 14 - Nicole, 16 -
Stacy, 15 - Hanna, 15 - Steph, 15 - Carrie, 14 - Sammie, 16, etc.
"Guys are rude and gross."
--Amanda, 16
"I hate to say it, but guys can be pretty slobbish."
--Pastor Dave, 42
Fact: The female body and the male body both have the same digestive system.
Fact: The female body and the male body both have the same sinus drainage system.
Fact: The female body and the male body both produce digestive gasses, sometimes known as "burps" and "toots"
Fact: The female body and the male body both produce sinus mucus sometimes known as "snot" or "boogers."
So why, then, does it seem like guys have the market on gross bodily fluids and gross bodily noises?
Almost every single girl who filled out the guy and girl survey for this book had these questions on their minds: "Why are guys so gross? Why are guys so immature? Why do guys think stupid things are so funny? Why do guys laugh at dumb jokes? Why do guys think body noises are such a big deal?"
Those questions may not seem related at first glance, but read them again. Do you see a connection? Did you know that guys mature slower than girls? It's true. Teen guys are about one to two years less mature than teen girls. Since the word immature sounds so critical, let's use the words less mature to try to see how all those questions you just read are related.
--Teen guys are less mature than teen girls.
--Since teen guys are less mature than teen girls, things that seem childish or silly to the girls might seem funny to the boys.
--Since things like body noises, dumb jokes, and gross things are somewhat childish and silly, teen guys, who are less mature than teen girls, might think those things are funnier than teen girls do.
Do you see the connection?
Several years ago some scientists got together with some museum people who then got together with a writer named Sylvia Branzei, and they created something called "Grossology." It was a traveling science exhibit that was presented all over the United States, and here are some of the facts it presented:
Burps and toots are results of gas buildup in the body.
A toot is not a backward burp.
Burping is officially known as "eructation."
Tooting does not have an official name. It is sometimes referred to as "farting," "passing gas," "breaking wind," "ripping one," and "cutting a puffy," among others.
Burps originate in the stomach and result from excess air combined with digestive acids.
Toots originate in the large intestine and result from the gas that is produced by the bacteria that digests food.
People, both male and female, pass gas an average of 14 times a day.
Ants, by the way, do not burp.
Snot is produced when the mucus in your nose combines with bacteria-killing chemicals. Snot coats the tiny hairs in your noise, which then help trap the dirt you breathe, keeping it from getting into your lungs. You proceed to swallow the dirty snot throughout the day, and then it is destroyed in your stomach. The nasal area of a human being is one of the cleanest areas of the body.
On average, people, both male and female, manufacture and swallow about one quart (about one liter) of their own snot a day.
The act of nose picking is officially referred to as "rhinotillexomania."
Don't you feel smarter now?
A few summers ago about 25 ninth graders from my town took a trip down to Chicago. On the second morning of the trip the male and female leaders were both sleepdeprived, exhausted, and haggard-looking. The male leader said to the female leader, "You look awful. What happened last night?" The female leader said, "The girls were up all night talking about boys, picking out their outfits for today, comparing their shoes, trading clothes, modeling their swimsuits for each other, painting their nails, plucking each other's eyebrows, telling stories, and doing their hair. I didn't get any sleep. You look awful, too. What happened to you?"
The male leader said, "I was up until four in the morning while the guys all tried to outfart one another. I didn't get any sleep, either, but I did have a few good laughs."
No one is able to say for sure why guys and girls have such a different viewpoint on body noises and function, but here are a few possibilities:
- Girls, as we said earlier, mature sooner than guys. But eventually the guys catch up. When was the last time your dad burped out loud at a restaurant? You see, they do grow out of it.
- Girls tend to be more inhibited because they have higher levels of the brain chemical serotonin, which works like the brakes in a car. It's easier for girls to say to themselves, "My stomach is really churning right now. This could be a problem. What am I going to do? One thing's for sure. I'm not going to do anything in public that might be embarrassing."
- The part of the brain that keeps a person interested and attentive is less sensitive in guys than girls, so they get bored more easily. When they get bored, they often start acting up, wiggling, being silly, etc. In a girl's brain the "thinking" part more easily overrides the "reacting" part than it does in a guy's brain.
One of the problems with understanding guys during the teenage years is that their bodies often look mature, but their brains aren't quite at the same developmental level. In other words, their bodies are grown, but their brains aren't. Because of that the mantra of many teen girls when they're with teen guys is, "Would you just grow up already?!"
Actually, some girls start saying this as early as kindergarten when boys have been known to pull on a girl's braids as a way to get her attention, to chew up his food and then display it to the entire class on the tip of his tongue, or to pick his nose and then promptly consume whatever it is that's dangling from the tip of his finger.
Television commercials and sitcoms often make it seem like guys never grow out of the less mature stage. The media seems determined to portray guys both young and old as immature, childish, silly, sports-fanatical, car-crazy, toy-loving creatures who, like Peter Pan, never grow up. And it must be good for sales; otherwise the media would stop doing it.
The fact is, however, that there are lots of teenage guys who never burp in public, never tell silly jokes, aren't interested in gross things, and act rather mature for their age. If there are 15 guys and 15 girls in a high school class, and if only two or three of the guys act immature and love to make body noises in public, the 15 girls will usually define the entire teenage male population as "immature, disgusting, and gross" based on those few individuals.
Likewise, if only two or three of the girls in the class talk nonstop about shopping, gossip about other people, and don't know how to change a tire on their cars, the 15 boys will usually define the entire teenage female population as "backbiting, shopaholic ditzes" based on those few individuals.
Not only do girls often broadly categorize all guys as gross and immature, but they also tend to forget that many members of their own gender fit the same description. I had three roommates in college who could beat any guy in a burping contest. I've been in cars and buses and classrooms with girls who could clear out a football stadium with the body sounds and smells they produced. And I've been at sleepovers with senior high girls who giggle and laugh and whisper and tell secrets just like third graders.
The biggest difference between the gross level of guys and girls is that girls tend not to brag about their skills. Guys, you may remember, are very competitive. So of course, if there are gross body noises being discussed, there will naturally be a contest to see who's best . . . or worst, as the case may be. A guy may congratulate his friend on a magnificent burp, but he will then immediately proceed to try and outburp him. A girl, on the other hand, will probably just congratulate her friend and leave it at that.
Another thing to keep in mind is that, for as long as anyone can remember, society has looked to females to be genteel, refined, and polite. That's not to say that people expected males to be the opposite. Rather they expected that the gentle and refined politeness of females would encourage males to follow suit. Does it really work this way?
That's a little hard to say. Certainly, if a guy has a crush on a girl and he finds out that she thinks burping is disgusting, he might change his behavior, at least when he's in her presence. Then again he might decide he's not quite ready to give up this exciting pastime and that girls can wait for a while. Truly, girls, this issue is a bit of a mystery, even to the guys themselves.
I met with a group of guys (all different ages) and told them that girls didn't understand why guys thought body noises and silly things and gross stuff and childish behavior were such a big deal. The guys laughed, pushed each other around a little bit, joked, and then one of them burped. Loudly.
Then I asked them if they could tell me why so many guys did those things, and they were at a loss for words. "I don't know." "Just because it's fun, I guess." "We just do, that's all." Those were as precise as the answers got. One senior guy said, "It's just something we do, but as we get older, we stop. Or at least we do it less." And then I noticed that it was mostly the younger guys who were acting silly and trying to burp the alphabet. The older guys were considerably more polite.
This difference in age behavior showed up in the guy and girl surveys. The younger guys who filled out the survey often wrote down sarcastic, silly, ridiculous answers.
For example, one young guy gave these answers--
Name some things that guys (in general) are better at than girls: Everything
Name some things that girls (in general) are better at than guys: Nothing.
Another young guy gave these answers--
Name some things that guys (in general) are better at than girls: spitting, burping, farting, going to the bathroom standing up.
Name some things that girls (in general) are better at than guys: cooking, cleaning, having babies, being crabby, being annoying.
Many of the older guys, on the other hand, seemed to have more thoughtful and honest answers. One older teen guy wrote:
Name some things that guys (in general) are better at than girls: I don't know . . . some are better at sports. Some aren't. Some are better at mechanical things. Some aren't. It all depends. I do think we're better at letting go of a problem or conflict once it's over with.
Name some things that girls (in general) are better at than guys: I think girls are really good at building close friendships. They understand relationships better than guys, I think. They're also better at understanding and relating to other people's feelings.
Can you see the difference between these answers? Clearly, as guys get older, their maturity starts to become apparent. It just arrives a little bit later than it does for most girls.
So what can you do about a guy whose immaturity is starting to really get you down? I think it's very appropriate for girls to let a guy know if he's doing something that's rather impolite. If a guy walks up to you, makes a crude joke, and then laughs, you have every right to say, "You know, I don't really appreciate that at all. Please don't talk to me that way." That's going to accomplish much more than saying, "You jerk. You're so stupid. Why don't you just grow up and stop being such an animal." If you say something like that, he might just laugh and think, "Wow, that was awesome! Maybe if I do the same thing tomorrow, she'll scream and make a girly scene."
In the end, girls, this is what it comes down to:
- Not all guys are gross, disgusting slobs who think boogers are for bouncing, bugs are for smashing, and burps are for communicating.
- The guys in your school (or family or church) whom you consider to be "immature, gross, disgusting slobs" probably still have some maturing to do. Be patient.
- The fact that you are annoyed by some guys' behavior doesn't make you better or superior. Nor does it give you a right to trash guys.
- Most guys grow up to be decent and kind men . . . even the ones who, right now, think it's cool to make fake farting sounds by sticking one hand under their armpit and then pumping their elbow up and down really fast.
- No one asked you to be the politepolice. If you are a well-mannered, mature young woman, good for you. The world needs more people like that. But let your behavior be your example to others instead of resorting to lecturing, eye-rolling, tsk-tsking, and the ever famous, "Just grow up, will you!?"
TO READ--
Proverbs 13:20
TO THINK ABOUT--
1. Do you think the girls or guys in your grade act more mature? Why?
2. In what ways have you noticed guys your age maturing over the past few years?
3. Think of some examples of commercials that portray guys as being dumb, immature slobs. How do you react when you see these? Why do you think advertisers portray guys like this?
4. Why do people think body noises are ruder coming from a girl than from a guy?
**
Taken from "What's Up With Boys?" by Crystal Kirgiss, copyright 2004, Youth Specialties/Zondervan. Used by permission. Order the book here.
**
FOR THE GUYS...
MARKING THE LINES
You and your friends want to play some pickup football (touch, flag, tackle--whatever you prefer). You've got a ball. You've got a wide-open place to play. And you've got even teams.
Before you start the game, though, there's one important thing you have to do. You have to set your boundaries--sidelines, goal lines, and end lines. You have to determine what's inbounds and what's out-of-bounds.
You could try playing without boundary lines, but things would probably get frustrating and confusing pretty quickly. If you're going to play the game right, you need to know how far you can go. You need to know how much room you have to work with.
The same goes for sex.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY "SEX"?
God's plan is for guys and girls to save sex until marriage. (That sound you hear is millions of Christian parents and church leaders nodding their heads in agreement.) But that leads to a pretty obvious question: What is sex? And what, exactly, are you supposed to save?
To put it in football terms, where are the boundary lines? How much room do you have to work with? How far can you go? (That sound you hear is millions of Christian parents and church leaders going, "Um, um...")
It's not like there's a shortage of opinions on the subject. Lots of Christian guys have set boundaries for themselves, sexually speaking. The problem is finding agreement on where those boundaries belong.
Tony
When the Bible talks about sex, it's talking about intercourse. Or whatever you want to call it. That's what "two people becoming one flesh" means. That's what I'm saving for marriage. So if somebody asks me if I'm a virgin, I say yes. Even though I've had oral sex and stuff like that. Because those things don't count. They're not really sex.
Luis
I think there's a difference between teasing and sex. Teasing is when you're just messing around. You know, exploring bodies and stuff. How else are you gonna learn? You've gotta find out what feels good to a girl. Otherwise your wife's gonna be bummed on your wedding night. I say as long as you don't have an orgasm, it's not really sex.
Justin
I believe there's a difference between having sex and making love. I don't think God wants people doing it just because they feel like it or because they're drunk or whatever. But if you love someone, it's different. Then it's making love. It's something beautiful instead of something sleazy.
Michael
I think it depends on the person. There are some things I can do and not feel guilty about. But if another guy does the same thing, he might feel guilty. You have to be true to yourself. Don't make decisions based on what other people do or what other people tell you is right. Do what's right for you--and the person you love.
Shon
I don't really have a choice. My girlfriend won't let me do anything more than kiss her. I tried to get a little more a couple times, but she threatened to dump me. So now I'm a good boy. Well...almost. I told her I'd do the kissing thing. But I also told her she had to make it worth my while. And she has. She's a great kisser.
Kip
I made a pledge to save sex for marriage. To me that means not doing anything with a girl that I wouldn't want my future wife doing with another guy. I know it sounds weird. Especially since I have no clue who my future wife will be. But it just seems fair, you know?
How do your views of what's "too far" compare with these? How would you explain your boundaries when it comes to sex?
How do you think God feels about your boundaries? Think carefully before you answer. Raging hormones and wishful thinking have been known to cloud guys' judgments. With enough incentive, you could justify an orgy. And if you're really good, you could even make it sound biblical.
But God isn't swayed by lame excuses or desperate rationalizations. And fooling yourself is never a good idea, especially when the stakes are so high.
MYTH BUSTING
So how does an unmarried guy like you come up with a clear guideline for his love life? How can you enjoy the pleasures of the opposite sex without misusing your body?
You can start by finding out for yourself what God expects of you. You'd be surprised by how many well-meaning Christian guys have set sexual standards for themselves based on myths and mistaken ways of thinking when it comes to God and his Word. To help you avoid that mistake, let's take a look at three of the most common myths that can trip you up.
Myth #1: The Bible's silence is our gain.
You can search every book of the Bible and not find a verse that says oral sex before marriage is a sin. Nor will you find a passage about undressing a girl or tongue kissing. In fact, you won't find many specific guidelines about what's okay and what's not for sexually curious guys.
Some people use this fact to support the argument that (almost) anything goes. Their attitude is: If the Bible doesn't outlaw it, I'm allowed to do it.
The problem with this line of thinking, however, is that it assumes the Bible is nothing more than a rule book. A list of do's and don'ts. A fat book with countless ways God wants to ground us. And that's a really lame way to look at God's Word.
The Bible is actually more like a treasure map. A detailed plan for discovering the awesome things God has planned for you. A guide for making the best possible choices for yourself in every situation.
There's an old story about comedian W.C. Fields, who was quite well-known for his drinking, fooling around, and unwise lifestyle choices. Toward the end of his life--while Fields was living in a sanatorium--a friend entered his room and found Fields thumbing through a Bible. The friend was astonished. "Bill, I've never seen you with a Bible or within a mile of a church. What are you doing?" he asked.
"Looking for loopholes," Fields answered.
That story's kind of amusing as a joke, but it's tragic as a human episode. Now, if you are looking for loopholes in God's Word, you're missing about 99.9 percent of what it has to offer.
Besides, the Bible isn't nearly as silent on sexual matters as some people would like to believe. You can find plenty of clues scattered throughout Scripture that reveal God's attitude toward sexual experimentation.
One of the first clues can be found in 1 Corinthians 6:18: "Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body."
Look at that first sentence again. Run away from sexual immorality. Think of it as a ticking bomb at the beginning of an action movie. The people who see it and run away as fast as they can will probably survive. But the arrogant "expert" who thinks he can defuse it by himself will end up getting smeared across the room.
That's the kind of danger sexual temptation presents. If you're conceited enough to believe you can mess around with it safely, you're in for a nasty surprise. It's a matter of direction: If you're running away from sexual temptation, you're heading in one direction. If you're trying to see how close you can get to the boundary line without going over, you're heading in the opposite direction. And you have to admit that doing the opposite of what God commands is always a bad idea.
Clue number two can be found a few books later in the New Testament: "But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God's holy people." That's what Ephesians 5:3 says. Not even a hint. Talk about setting the bar high!
Guys can make all the pitches they want about why certain things technically shouldn't be considered sex. But if those things have even a hint of sexual immorality, they're off limits.
Ephesians 5:3 makes that crystal clear.
And then there's clue number three, which comes courtesy of Colossians 3:5: "Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, which is idolatry."
That doesn't sound like a God who's wishy-washy when it comes to his people playing around with sex. As far as he's concerned, you're in a fight to the finish with sexual sin. If you don't destroy it, it will destroy you. No matter how harmless it may seem right now.
Like it or not, God isn't going to spoon-feed you every bit of information you need to stay sexually pure. He's not going to supernaturally highlight every relevant verse in your Bible. Discovering his truth is your job. And it's not always an easy thing to do. Especially with so many other so-called truths competing for your attention. But if you commit yourself to learning what his Word says about sexual purity, he will help you discover his truth.
Myth #2: Setting sexual boundaries for yourself will take care of your problem.
Don't get me wrong. When it comes to sex, setting physical limits for yourself is a great idea. Especially if you commit yourself to respecting those limits. But it won't solve your problem completely.
You see, your fight isn't just physical; it's mental and spiritual, too. Jesus made that clear when he said, "But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart" (Matthew 5:28). How's that for a standard?
You can keep your pants zipped from now until your wedding day, but it won't keep you safe from sexual sin. The male imagination is a state-of-the-art, industrial-strength machine--especially when it's churning out sexual fantasies. Guys are ingenious when it comes to imagining erotic scenarios. There's no situation we can't turn into a sexual one if we just put our minds to it. So no matter where you draw the line physically, you still have to contend with your eyes and your thoughts.
Myth #3: More than anything else, God wants us to enjoy his gift of sex.
Don't be fooled into thinking that your enjoyment is at the top of God's priority list. It's not. "It is God's will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control his own body in a way that is holy and honorable, not in passionate lust like the heathen, who do not know God...For God did not call us to be impure, but to live a holy life." I didn't say that; the apostle Paul did in 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5, 7.
God wants you to be pure. He wants you to obey him. He wants you to honor him in the things you do and say. He wants you to live your life as an example to others. That's what God wants. You can certainly enjoy yourself doing those things. But enjoyment isn't your ultimate goal--not if you're serious about living a life that pleases God.
You see, this isn't about getting what you want. It's about giving up what you want--for God's sake. "Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body." Those are Paul's words again, from 1 Corinthians 6:19-20.
God has a purpose for you. And getting as much as you can from girls isn't part of it. Living a holy life is a 24-7 commitment. You can't call time-out, go mess around for a while, and then come back to it. To be holy you have to completely change your perspective on satisfying your urges.
That doesn't mean you have to live like a monk and shut yourself off from the world. God's not boring! As I mentioned in chapter 1, he's the One who created the pleasure centers in your body. But living a holy life does mean you have to learn to say no to your body--even when it's screaming for action.
**
Taken from "When Young Men Are Tempted" by Bill Perkins and Randy Southern, copyright 2007, Youth Specialties/Zondervan. Used by permission. Order the book here.
**
3. SURF REPORT
~ Make Your Own Avatar
4. BIRTHDAYS
This week we have got two birthday shout outs! Best wishes to Micha Pierce and Haley Carlsson! Hope you both have great birthdays!
5. VIDEO OF THE WEEK
Frozen People in Grand Central Station: This is just funny!
6. FORGETTABLE FACT
A snail can sleep for three years.
7. POTENT QUOTABLES
"There is a famine in America. Not a famine of food, but of love, of truth, of life."
~Mother Teresa
"Love means loving the unlovable--or it is no virtue at all."
~G.K. Chesterton
===========our|sponsor===========
"WHAT'S UP WITH BOYS?"
If you're a girl, you've probably asked that question more than once. Get the inside scoop on why guys do the things they do, and figure out what's really going on inside their heads and hearts.
"WHEN YOUNG MEN ARE TEMPTED"
Guys look at women...and that's not necessarily bad, unless they're looking at them with temptation in their hearts. This book helps guys get real about the struggle of lust and helps them learn to deal with the temptation.
Learn more and get "What's Up With Boys?" here.
Check out "When Young Men Are Tempted" here.
Also available in your local Christian bookstore.
=================================
8. THIS WEEK IS...
Monday, 2/11 = Make a Friend Day
Tuesday, 2/12 = Plum Pudding Day
Wednesday, 2/13 = Get a Different Name Day
Thursday, 2/14 = Ferris Wheel Day
Friday, 2/15 = National Gumdrop Day
1. 180 News
2. Something for Your Heart
3. Surf Report
4. Birthdays
5. Video of The Week
6. Forgettable Fact
7. Potent Quotables
8. This Week Is...
1. 180 NEWS
30 Hour Famine
30 Hour Famine season is in full swing, and it's happening February 22-23. If you have not yet picked up a fundraising packet, do so this week and make plans now to be a part of this great event!
Kids just like you are seeing their friends and families die from hunger - 29,000 every day, gone for good. They're counting on us to care. We know your own life is busy, but do you have room to care for someone else as well? If so, join us.
Be Seen. Be Heard. BE HUNGRY!
2008 Release Forms
Have you turned one in yet? Please remember we must have a new 2008 Release Form on file before you can attend any of our monthly events. The 2007 Release Forms are no longer valid.
If you will be joining us next week for our 30 Hour Famine and have not yet turned one in, be sure to do so soon!
They are available here for download.
2. SOMETHING FOR YOUR HEART
FOR THE GIRLS...
BOOGERS, BELCHES, AND BUGS--Guys and Grossness
booger (n) mucus from or in the nose, either green and gooey or green and crusty
belch (v) to eject gas noisily from the stomach through the mouth, to eructate.
(n) an eructation
bug (n) any terrestrial or aquatic insect with piercing, sucking mouth parts, wingless or with two pairs of wings, as the stinkbug, squash bug, or bedbug
(v) to annoy or bother
"Why do guys act so immature?"
- Samantha, 17 - Christine, 14 - Brianna, 14 - Nicole, 16 -
Stacy, 15 - Hanna, 15 - Steph, 15 - Carrie, 14 - Sammie, 16, etc.
"Guys are rude and gross."
--Amanda, 16
"I hate to say it, but guys can be pretty slobbish."
--Pastor Dave, 42
Fact: The female body and the male body both have the same digestive system.
Fact: The female body and the male body both have the same sinus drainage system.
Fact: The female body and the male body both produce digestive gasses, sometimes known as "burps" and "toots"
Fact: The female body and the male body both produce sinus mucus sometimes known as "snot" or "boogers."
So why, then, does it seem like guys have the market on gross bodily fluids and gross bodily noises?
Almost every single girl who filled out the guy and girl survey for this book had these questions on their minds: "Why are guys so gross? Why are guys so immature? Why do guys think stupid things are so funny? Why do guys laugh at dumb jokes? Why do guys think body noises are such a big deal?"
Those questions may not seem related at first glance, but read them again. Do you see a connection? Did you know that guys mature slower than girls? It's true. Teen guys are about one to two years less mature than teen girls. Since the word immature sounds so critical, let's use the words less mature to try to see how all those questions you just read are related.
--Teen guys are less mature than teen girls.
--Since teen guys are less mature than teen girls, things that seem childish or silly to the girls might seem funny to the boys.
--Since things like body noises, dumb jokes, and gross things are somewhat childish and silly, teen guys, who are less mature than teen girls, might think those things are funnier than teen girls do.
Do you see the connection?
Several years ago some scientists got together with some museum people who then got together with a writer named Sylvia Branzei, and they created something called "Grossology." It was a traveling science exhibit that was presented all over the United States, and here are some of the facts it presented:
Burps and toots are results of gas buildup in the body.
A toot is not a backward burp.
Burping is officially known as "eructation."
Tooting does not have an official name. It is sometimes referred to as "farting," "passing gas," "breaking wind," "ripping one," and "cutting a puffy," among others.
Burps originate in the stomach and result from excess air combined with digestive acids.
Toots originate in the large intestine and result from the gas that is produced by the bacteria that digests food.
People, both male and female, pass gas an average of 14 times a day.
Ants, by the way, do not burp.
Snot is produced when the mucus in your nose combines with bacteria-killing chemicals. Snot coats the tiny hairs in your noise, which then help trap the dirt you breathe, keeping it from getting into your lungs. You proceed to swallow the dirty snot throughout the day, and then it is destroyed in your stomach. The nasal area of a human being is one of the cleanest areas of the body.
On average, people, both male and female, manufacture and swallow about one quart (about one liter) of their own snot a day.
The act of nose picking is officially referred to as "rhinotillexomania."
Don't you feel smarter now?
A few summers ago about 25 ninth graders from my town took a trip down to Chicago. On the second morning of the trip the male and female leaders were both sleepdeprived, exhausted, and haggard-looking. The male leader said to the female leader, "You look awful. What happened last night?" The female leader said, "The girls were up all night talking about boys, picking out their outfits for today, comparing their shoes, trading clothes, modeling their swimsuits for each other, painting their nails, plucking each other's eyebrows, telling stories, and doing their hair. I didn't get any sleep. You look awful, too. What happened to you?"
The male leader said, "I was up until four in the morning while the guys all tried to outfart one another. I didn't get any sleep, either, but I did have a few good laughs."
No one is able to say for sure why guys and girls have such a different viewpoint on body noises and function, but here are a few possibilities:
- Girls, as we said earlier, mature sooner than guys. But eventually the guys catch up. When was the last time your dad burped out loud at a restaurant? You see, they do grow out of it.
- Girls tend to be more inhibited because they have higher levels of the brain chemical serotonin, which works like the brakes in a car. It's easier for girls to say to themselves, "My stomach is really churning right now. This could be a problem. What am I going to do? One thing's for sure. I'm not going to do anything in public that might be embarrassing."
- The part of the brain that keeps a person interested and attentive is less sensitive in guys than girls, so they get bored more easily. When they get bored, they often start acting up, wiggling, being silly, etc. In a girl's brain the "thinking" part more easily overrides the "reacting" part than it does in a guy's brain.
One of the problems with understanding guys during the teenage years is that their bodies often look mature, but their brains aren't quite at the same developmental level. In other words, their bodies are grown, but their brains aren't. Because of that the mantra of many teen girls when they're with teen guys is, "Would you just grow up already?!"
Actually, some girls start saying this as early as kindergarten when boys have been known to pull on a girl's braids as a way to get her attention, to chew up his food and then display it to the entire class on the tip of his tongue, or to pick his nose and then promptly consume whatever it is that's dangling from the tip of his finger.
Television commercials and sitcoms often make it seem like guys never grow out of the less mature stage. The media seems determined to portray guys both young and old as immature, childish, silly, sports-fanatical, car-crazy, toy-loving creatures who, like Peter Pan, never grow up. And it must be good for sales; otherwise the media would stop doing it.
The fact is, however, that there are lots of teenage guys who never burp in public, never tell silly jokes, aren't interested in gross things, and act rather mature for their age. If there are 15 guys and 15 girls in a high school class, and if only two or three of the guys act immature and love to make body noises in public, the 15 girls will usually define the entire teenage male population as "immature, disgusting, and gross" based on those few individuals.
Likewise, if only two or three of the girls in the class talk nonstop about shopping, gossip about other people, and don't know how to change a tire on their cars, the 15 boys will usually define the entire teenage female population as "backbiting, shopaholic ditzes" based on those few individuals.
Not only do girls often broadly categorize all guys as gross and immature, but they also tend to forget that many members of their own gender fit the same description. I had three roommates in college who could beat any guy in a burping contest. I've been in cars and buses and classrooms with girls who could clear out a football stadium with the body sounds and smells they produced. And I've been at sleepovers with senior high girls who giggle and laugh and whisper and tell secrets just like third graders.
The biggest difference between the gross level of guys and girls is that girls tend not to brag about their skills. Guys, you may remember, are very competitive. So of course, if there are gross body noises being discussed, there will naturally be a contest to see who's best . . . or worst, as the case may be. A guy may congratulate his friend on a magnificent burp, but he will then immediately proceed to try and outburp him. A girl, on the other hand, will probably just congratulate her friend and leave it at that.
Another thing to keep in mind is that, for as long as anyone can remember, society has looked to females to be genteel, refined, and polite. That's not to say that people expected males to be the opposite. Rather they expected that the gentle and refined politeness of females would encourage males to follow suit. Does it really work this way?
That's a little hard to say. Certainly, if a guy has a crush on a girl and he finds out that she thinks burping is disgusting, he might change his behavior, at least when he's in her presence. Then again he might decide he's not quite ready to give up this exciting pastime and that girls can wait for a while. Truly, girls, this issue is a bit of a mystery, even to the guys themselves.
I met with a group of guys (all different ages) and told them that girls didn't understand why guys thought body noises and silly things and gross stuff and childish behavior were such a big deal. The guys laughed, pushed each other around a little bit, joked, and then one of them burped. Loudly.
Then I asked them if they could tell me why so many guys did those things, and they were at a loss for words. "I don't know." "Just because it's fun, I guess." "We just do, that's all." Those were as precise as the answers got. One senior guy said, "It's just something we do, but as we get older, we stop. Or at least we do it less." And then I noticed that it was mostly the younger guys who were acting silly and trying to burp the alphabet. The older guys were considerably more polite.
This difference in age behavior showed up in the guy and girl surveys. The younger guys who filled out the survey often wrote down sarcastic, silly, ridiculous answers.
For example, one young guy gave these answers--
Name some things that guys (in general) are better at than girls: Everything
Name some things that girls (in general) are better at than guys: Nothing.
Another young guy gave these answers--
Name some things that guys (in general) are better at than girls: spitting, burping, farting, going to the bathroom standing up.
Name some things that girls (in general) are better at than guys: cooking, cleaning, having babies, being crabby, being annoying.
Many of the older guys, on the other hand, seemed to have more thoughtful and honest answers. One older teen guy wrote:
Name some things that guys (in general) are better at than girls: I don't know . . . some are better at sports. Some aren't. Some are better at mechanical things. Some aren't. It all depends. I do think we're better at letting go of a problem or conflict once it's over with.
Name some things that girls (in general) are better at than guys: I think girls are really good at building close friendships. They understand relationships better than guys, I think. They're also better at understanding and relating to other people's feelings.
Can you see the difference between these answers? Clearly, as guys get older, their maturity starts to become apparent. It just arrives a little bit later than it does for most girls.
So what can you do about a guy whose immaturity is starting to really get you down? I think it's very appropriate for girls to let a guy know if he's doing something that's rather impolite. If a guy walks up to you, makes a crude joke, and then laughs, you have every right to say, "You know, I don't really appreciate that at all. Please don't talk to me that way." That's going to accomplish much more than saying, "You jerk. You're so stupid. Why don't you just grow up and stop being such an animal." If you say something like that, he might just laugh and think, "Wow, that was awesome! Maybe if I do the same thing tomorrow, she'll scream and make a girly scene."
In the end, girls, this is what it comes down to:
- Not all guys are gross, disgusting slobs who think boogers are for bouncing, bugs are for smashing, and burps are for communicating.
- The guys in your school (or family or church) whom you consider to be "immature, gross, disgusting slobs" probably still have some maturing to do. Be patient.
- The fact that you are annoyed by some guys' behavior doesn't make you better or superior. Nor does it give you a right to trash guys.
- Most guys grow up to be decent and kind men . . . even the ones who, right now, think it's cool to make fake farting sounds by sticking one hand under their armpit and then pumping their elbow up and down really fast.
- No one asked you to be the politepolice. If you are a well-mannered, mature young woman, good for you. The world needs more people like that. But let your behavior be your example to others instead of resorting to lecturing, eye-rolling, tsk-tsking, and the ever famous, "Just grow up, will you!?"
TO READ--
Proverbs 13:20
TO THINK ABOUT--
1. Do you think the girls or guys in your grade act more mature? Why?
2. In what ways have you noticed guys your age maturing over the past few years?
3. Think of some examples of commercials that portray guys as being dumb, immature slobs. How do you react when you see these? Why do you think advertisers portray guys like this?
4. Why do people think body noises are ruder coming from a girl than from a guy?
**
Taken from "What's Up With Boys?" by Crystal Kirgiss, copyright 2004, Youth Specialties/Zondervan. Used by permission. Order the book here.
**
FOR THE GUYS...
MARKING THE LINES
You and your friends want to play some pickup football (touch, flag, tackle--whatever you prefer). You've got a ball. You've got a wide-open place to play. And you've got even teams.
Before you start the game, though, there's one important thing you have to do. You have to set your boundaries--sidelines, goal lines, and end lines. You have to determine what's inbounds and what's out-of-bounds.
You could try playing without boundary lines, but things would probably get frustrating and confusing pretty quickly. If you're going to play the game right, you need to know how far you can go. You need to know how much room you have to work with.
The same goes for sex.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY "SEX"?
God's plan is for guys and girls to save sex until marriage. (That sound you hear is millions of Christian parents and church leaders nodding their heads in agreement.) But that leads to a pretty obvious question: What is sex? And what, exactly, are you supposed to save?
To put it in football terms, where are the boundary lines? How much room do you have to work with? How far can you go? (That sound you hear is millions of Christian parents and church leaders going, "Um, um...")
It's not like there's a shortage of opinions on the subject. Lots of Christian guys have set boundaries for themselves, sexually speaking. The problem is finding agreement on where those boundaries belong.
Tony
When the Bible talks about sex, it's talking about intercourse. Or whatever you want to call it. That's what "two people becoming one flesh" means. That's what I'm saving for marriage. So if somebody asks me if I'm a virgin, I say yes. Even though I've had oral sex and stuff like that. Because those things don't count. They're not really sex.
Luis
I think there's a difference between teasing and sex. Teasing is when you're just messing around. You know, exploring bodies and stuff. How else are you gonna learn? You've gotta find out what feels good to a girl. Otherwise your wife's gonna be bummed on your wedding night. I say as long as you don't have an orgasm, it's not really sex.
Justin
I believe there's a difference between having sex and making love. I don't think God wants people doing it just because they feel like it or because they're drunk or whatever. But if you love someone, it's different. Then it's making love. It's something beautiful instead of something sleazy.
Michael
I think it depends on the person. There are some things I can do and not feel guilty about. But if another guy does the same thing, he might feel guilty. You have to be true to yourself. Don't make decisions based on what other people do or what other people tell you is right. Do what's right for you--and the person you love.
Shon
I don't really have a choice. My girlfriend won't let me do anything more than kiss her. I tried to get a little more a couple times, but she threatened to dump me. So now I'm a good boy. Well...almost. I told her I'd do the kissing thing. But I also told her she had to make it worth my while. And she has. She's a great kisser.
Kip
I made a pledge to save sex for marriage. To me that means not doing anything with a girl that I wouldn't want my future wife doing with another guy. I know it sounds weird. Especially since I have no clue who my future wife will be. But it just seems fair, you know?
How do your views of what's "too far" compare with these? How would you explain your boundaries when it comes to sex?
How do you think God feels about your boundaries? Think carefully before you answer. Raging hormones and wishful thinking have been known to cloud guys' judgments. With enough incentive, you could justify an orgy. And if you're really good, you could even make it sound biblical.
But God isn't swayed by lame excuses or desperate rationalizations. And fooling yourself is never a good idea, especially when the stakes are so high.
MYTH BUSTING
So how does an unmarried guy like you come up with a clear guideline for his love life? How can you enjoy the pleasures of the opposite sex without misusing your body?
You can start by finding out for yourself what God expects of you. You'd be surprised by how many well-meaning Christian guys have set sexual standards for themselves based on myths and mistaken ways of thinking when it comes to God and his Word. To help you avoid that mistake, let's take a look at three of the most common myths that can trip you up.
Myth #1: The Bible's silence is our gain.
You can search every book of the Bible and not find a verse that says oral sex before marriage is a sin. Nor will you find a passage about undressing a girl or tongue kissing. In fact, you won't find many specific guidelines about what's okay and what's not for sexually curious guys.
Some people use this fact to support the argument that (almost) anything goes. Their attitude is: If the Bible doesn't outlaw it, I'm allowed to do it.
The problem with this line of thinking, however, is that it assumes the Bible is nothing more than a rule book. A list of do's and don'ts. A fat book with countless ways God wants to ground us. And that's a really lame way to look at God's Word.
The Bible is actually more like a treasure map. A detailed plan for discovering the awesome things God has planned for you. A guide for making the best possible choices for yourself in every situation.
There's an old story about comedian W.C. Fields, who was quite well-known for his drinking, fooling around, and unwise lifestyle choices. Toward the end of his life--while Fields was living in a sanatorium--a friend entered his room and found Fields thumbing through a Bible. The friend was astonished. "Bill, I've never seen you with a Bible or within a mile of a church. What are you doing?" he asked.
"Looking for loopholes," Fields answered.
That story's kind of amusing as a joke, but it's tragic as a human episode. Now, if you are looking for loopholes in God's Word, you're missing about 99.9 percent of what it has to offer.
Besides, the Bible isn't nearly as silent on sexual matters as some people would like to believe. You can find plenty of clues scattered throughout Scripture that reveal God's attitude toward sexual experimentation.
One of the first clues can be found in 1 Corinthians 6:18: "Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body."
Look at that first sentence again. Run away from sexual immorality. Think of it as a ticking bomb at the beginning of an action movie. The people who see it and run away as fast as they can will probably survive. But the arrogant "expert" who thinks he can defuse it by himself will end up getting smeared across the room.
That's the kind of danger sexual temptation presents. If you're conceited enough to believe you can mess around with it safely, you're in for a nasty surprise. It's a matter of direction: If you're running away from sexual temptation, you're heading in one direction. If you're trying to see how close you can get to the boundary line without going over, you're heading in the opposite direction. And you have to admit that doing the opposite of what God commands is always a bad idea.
Clue number two can be found a few books later in the New Testament: "But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God's holy people." That's what Ephesians 5:3 says. Not even a hint. Talk about setting the bar high!
Guys can make all the pitches they want about why certain things technically shouldn't be considered sex. But if those things have even a hint of sexual immorality, they're off limits.
Ephesians 5:3 makes that crystal clear.
And then there's clue number three, which comes courtesy of Colossians 3:5: "Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, which is idolatry."
That doesn't sound like a God who's wishy-washy when it comes to his people playing around with sex. As far as he's concerned, you're in a fight to the finish with sexual sin. If you don't destroy it, it will destroy you. No matter how harmless it may seem right now.
Like it or not, God isn't going to spoon-feed you every bit of information you need to stay sexually pure. He's not going to supernaturally highlight every relevant verse in your Bible. Discovering his truth is your job. And it's not always an easy thing to do. Especially with so many other so-called truths competing for your attention. But if you commit yourself to learning what his Word says about sexual purity, he will help you discover his truth.
Myth #2: Setting sexual boundaries for yourself will take care of your problem.
Don't get me wrong. When it comes to sex, setting physical limits for yourself is a great idea. Especially if you commit yourself to respecting those limits. But it won't solve your problem completely.
You see, your fight isn't just physical; it's mental and spiritual, too. Jesus made that clear when he said, "But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart" (Matthew 5:28). How's that for a standard?
You can keep your pants zipped from now until your wedding day, but it won't keep you safe from sexual sin. The male imagination is a state-of-the-art, industrial-strength machine--especially when it's churning out sexual fantasies. Guys are ingenious when it comes to imagining erotic scenarios. There's no situation we can't turn into a sexual one if we just put our minds to it. So no matter where you draw the line physically, you still have to contend with your eyes and your thoughts.
Myth #3: More than anything else, God wants us to enjoy his gift of sex.
Don't be fooled into thinking that your enjoyment is at the top of God's priority list. It's not. "It is God's will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control his own body in a way that is holy and honorable, not in passionate lust like the heathen, who do not know God...For God did not call us to be impure, but to live a holy life." I didn't say that; the apostle Paul did in 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5, 7.
God wants you to be pure. He wants you to obey him. He wants you to honor him in the things you do and say. He wants you to live your life as an example to others. That's what God wants. You can certainly enjoy yourself doing those things. But enjoyment isn't your ultimate goal--not if you're serious about living a life that pleases God.
You see, this isn't about getting what you want. It's about giving up what you want--for God's sake. "Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body." Those are Paul's words again, from 1 Corinthians 6:19-20.
God has a purpose for you. And getting as much as you can from girls isn't part of it. Living a holy life is a 24-7 commitment. You can't call time-out, go mess around for a while, and then come back to it. To be holy you have to completely change your perspective on satisfying your urges.
That doesn't mean you have to live like a monk and shut yourself off from the world. God's not boring! As I mentioned in chapter 1, he's the One who created the pleasure centers in your body. But living a holy life does mean you have to learn to say no to your body--even when it's screaming for action.
**
Taken from "When Young Men Are Tempted" by Bill Perkins and Randy Southern, copyright 2007, Youth Specialties/Zondervan. Used by permission. Order the book here.
**
3. SURF REPORT
~ Make Your Own Avatar
4. BIRTHDAYS
This week we have got two birthday shout outs! Best wishes to Micha Pierce and Haley Carlsson! Hope you both have great birthdays!
5. VIDEO OF THE WEEK
Frozen People in Grand Central Station: This is just funny!
6. FORGETTABLE FACT
A snail can sleep for three years.
7. POTENT QUOTABLES
"There is a famine in America. Not a famine of food, but of love, of truth, of life."
~Mother Teresa
"Love means loving the unlovable--or it is no virtue at all."
~G.K. Chesterton
===========our|sponsor===========
"WHAT'S UP WITH BOYS?"
If you're a girl, you've probably asked that question more than once. Get the inside scoop on why guys do the things they do, and figure out what's really going on inside their heads and hearts.
"WHEN YOUNG MEN ARE TEMPTED"
Guys look at women...and that's not necessarily bad, unless they're looking at them with temptation in their hearts. This book helps guys get real about the struggle of lust and helps them learn to deal with the temptation.
Learn more and get "What's Up With Boys?" here.
Check out "When Young Men Are Tempted" here.
Also available in your local Christian bookstore.
=================================
8. THIS WEEK IS...
Monday, 2/11 = Make a Friend Day
Tuesday, 2/12 = Plum Pudding Day
Wednesday, 2/13 = Get a Different Name Day
Thursday, 2/14 = Ferris Wheel Day
Friday, 2/15 = National Gumdrop Day
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There be much type on this newsletter. When I'm out of school I hope to have time to read it all.
-Zak
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-Zak
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